[ Estinien's lips thin, mouth pressed tightly together. He does not wish to answer the question. Largely because he has yet to arrive at an answer. His body is as much a weapon as his lance is and this tail—long, heavy, cumbersome—has thrown everything off. It is as though he is a boy again, picking up a weapon for the first time.
No.
It is as though his body is not his own. As though it is not wholly under his control, and that is a feeling he'd rather not revisit.
Having said all that, he is Ishgardian. Dragons are an inextricable part of his heritage, of his blood. It wouldn't have taken much to kickstart the transformation that dwelled within him like a ticking bomb. An inevitability, really. One he probably... would not have minded all that much. But this is not that. And with his history he would be a fool to take this lightly. ]
I am... handling it. 'Tis a lot to come to terms with but it is what it is, and all I can do is move forward.
[ His tail rattles restlessly as he speaks however, giving away his unease. Estinien frowns down at it. ]
Anyway, my thanks for the offer of information. I can pass along the details of the zones I visit if that would be of use to your research.
[ It occurs to her as she watches him that Estinien likely doesn't care much for trying to disguise how he feels which would explain why his tail feels like an extension of that. His lips thin and seems to really think about the answer to her question which signals to her that he might not have thought about it at length yet.
Though she has grown up around scholars all her life, they were also cut from similar cloths to knights. They were singular and focused in their passions or duty and thought of little else. Feelings and long term ramifications of events they may experience were processed, if they had their way, never. Her head tilts a moment as she regards him. ]
[ And though it's said with a healthy amount of skepticism she is no fool to the things he has gone through that might make him reticent to a transformation like this. ]
Hopefully it will be the last of the transformation. Or we can perhaps find a way to reverse it.
[ She's about to suggest that they try and make the best of their food situation when she does a double take. ]
[ He's about to ask her how else he's supposed to describe it if 'handling it' does not suit when— ]
Glowing?
[ His first thought is of Nidhogg, and he finds himself steeled against whatever changes might find him next, against an attempted takeover, against an unwinnable fight.
He should have been paying more attention to the bottle in his lap, for whatever it is that was inside it... is no longer inside it. The bottle rattles, and then the air between them wavers suddenly, shimmers as though a haze of heat has settled between them. Between one heartbeat and the next something appears between them, the form not unlike a voidsent but something stops him from reaching for his lance.
Maybe it's the fact that it does naught but hang there. Maybe it's the scars it bears, in a pattern that feels familiar. Or maybe it's the fact that it stares at him with a face missing both its eyes.
[ Whatever snippy little insult had been on the tip of her tongue comes and goes as the bottle begins to rattle and shake and the glow grows brighter until a mote of light undulates and morphs between them.
Alisaie stands not because she plans on attacking but because she isn't certain how else to react to any of it. Especially when it the features on its face seem to meld and become something so heart achingly familiar. In reality, it shouldn't. The people it reminds her of were vastly different people - not to mention they had lived on vastly different stars.
But all the same it strikes her through her heart like an arrow and she finds herself stunned. ]
Yes. [ His voice is hushed, eyes watching the apparition as one might something venomous. The apparition stares sightlessly back at him. ] Though it is more spectre than soul shard, I think.
[ He wonders if he ought to do something. Say something. A familiar stranger here to cast judgement on him. He wonders if perhaps rather than it being a missing piece coming home to roost it is instead searching for one of its own. Estinien opens his mouth—
—and it vanishes, as though it was never there at all. The empty bottle that's left behind feels cold to the touch.
[ Her response is faint, as if it's an afterthought. Alisaie's eyes are blown wide as the features of the spectre flicker like static between what she can recognize as her grandfather, Tessleen, and then something else in between.
Whether this is meant to be intentional or not, grief pricks at her heart.
Had it stayed any longer she might have felt more than just shock. But a moment it's there and the next it's gone and it leaves her feeling...unsteady. Vulnerable. Estinien's voice draws her attention back to the present and she stares at him a moment unable to compose herself in time. But eventually she does and she turns her face away. ]
Fine. Just startled, that's all. And you – you're well?
[ If that's what she had seen them who had he seen? ]
[ Of course, his traitorous tail makes a liar of him immediately, shifting agitatedly against the ground. Estinien, thinking he'd finally found some measure of understanding in his time travelling to all four corners of the world, wonders if maybe this is his true reckoning. The trial he must undergo.
There is a pregnant pause, broken only by the sheets of rain coming down between them. Then: ]
'Twas Nidhogg, though I cannot be sure, really. Perhaps it really is all connected.
No matter. [ This is added in a way that very firmly puts an end to any further discussion. ] If you are hungry, feel free to help yourself to the food in my bag. Otherwise I think I will turn in for the night. Sleep well, Alisaie.
[ Alisaie may not own a tail herself but she knows agitation when she sees it. Mercifully she doesn't say anything to the effect considering they're both more than well aware of its actions. Which is why she doesn't expect him to reveal anything of what he'd seen, as haunted as he'd looked. But then he does.
Inadvertently she looks up unable to hide the shock on her face. As quickly as he admits it however, he's quick to shut it down again.
Unfortunately she thinks she understands why. They do not know each other well enough to have a heart-to-heart, let alone that has undoubtedly left a mark on him in more ways than one. As tempted as she is to ask more, she shuts her mouth left with the feeling of uncertainty and discomfort.
There's a rustling of her own as she begins to wrestle with the wrapping of her ration in an effort to fill the awkwardness that suddenly fills the air. ]
Right of course. Sleep well.
[ And though she eventually does drift off to sleep, it isn't an easy one. Not with the remnants of the ghosts that haunt the pair of them long after their specters have gone. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
No.
It is as though his body is not his own. As though it is not wholly under his control, and that is a feeling he'd rather not revisit.
Having said all that, he is Ishgardian. Dragons are an inextricable part of his heritage, of his blood. It wouldn't have taken much to kickstart the transformation that dwelled within him like a ticking bomb. An inevitability, really. One he probably... would not have minded all that much. But this is not that. And with his history he would be a fool to take this lightly. ]
I am... handling it. 'Tis a lot to come to terms with but it is what it is, and all I can do is move forward.
[ His tail rattles restlessly as he speaks however, giving away his unease. Estinien frowns down at it. ]
Anyway, my thanks for the offer of information. I can pass along the details of the zones I visit if that would be of use to your research.
no subject
Though she has grown up around scholars all her life, they were also cut from similar cloths to knights. They were singular and focused in their passions or duty and thought of little else. Feelings and long term ramifications of events they may experience were processed, if they had their way, never. Her head tilts a moment as she regards him. ]
"Handling it" doesn't sound particularly convincing.
[ And though it's said with a healthy amount of skepticism she is no fool to the things he has gone through that might make him reticent to a transformation like this. ]
Hopefully it will be the last of the transformation. Or we can perhaps find a way to reverse it.
[ She's about to suggest that they try and make the best of their food situation when she does a double take. ]
Was glowing part of the transformation?
no subject
Glowing?
[ His first thought is of Nidhogg, and he finds himself steeled against whatever changes might find him next, against an attempted takeover, against an unwinnable fight.
He should have been paying more attention to the bottle in his lap, for whatever it is that was inside it... is no longer inside it. The bottle rattles, and then the air between them wavers suddenly, shimmers as though a haze of heat has settled between them. Between one heartbeat and the next something appears between them, the form not unlike a voidsent but something stops him from reaching for his lance.
Maybe it's the fact that it does naught but hang there. Maybe it's the scars it bears, in a pattern that feels familiar. Or maybe it's the fact that it stares at him with a face missing both its eyes.
Estinien's heart thuds in his chest. ]
no subject
[ Whatever snippy little insult had been on the tip of her tongue comes and goes as the bottle begins to rattle and shake and the glow grows brighter until a mote of light undulates and morphs between them.
Alisaie stands not because she plans on attacking but because she isn't certain how else to react to any of it. Especially when it the features on its face seem to meld and become something so heart achingly familiar. In reality, it shouldn't. The people it reminds her of were vastly different people - not to mention they had lived on vastly different stars.
But all the same it strikes her through her heart like an arrow and she finds herself stunned. ]
Estinien - are you seeing what I am?
no subject
[ He wonders if he ought to do something. Say something. A familiar stranger here to cast judgement on him. He wonders if perhaps rather than it being a missing piece coming home to roost it is instead searching for one of its own. Estinien opens his mouth—
—and it vanishes, as though it was never there at all. The empty bottle that's left behind feels cold to the touch.
Then he finally notices Alisaie. ]
Alisaie, are you alright?
[ What about that could have stunned her so? ]
no subject
[ Her response is faint, as if it's an afterthought. Alisaie's eyes are blown wide as the features of the spectre flicker like static between what she can recognize as her grandfather, Tessleen, and then something else in between.
Whether this is meant to be intentional or not, grief pricks at her heart.
Had it stayed any longer she might have felt more than just shock. But a moment it's there and the next it's gone and it leaves her feeling...unsteady. Vulnerable. Estinien's voice draws her attention back to the present and she stares at him a moment unable to compose herself in time. But eventually she does and she turns her face away. ]
Fine. Just startled, that's all. And you – you're well?
[ If that's what she had seen them who had he seen? ]
no subject
[ Of course, his traitorous tail makes a liar of him immediately, shifting agitatedly against the ground. Estinien, thinking he'd finally found some measure of understanding in his time travelling to all four corners of the world, wonders if maybe this is his true reckoning. The trial he must undergo.
There is a pregnant pause, broken only by the sheets of rain coming down between them. Then: ]
'Twas Nidhogg, though I cannot be sure, really. Perhaps it really is all connected.
No matter. [ This is added in a way that very firmly puts an end to any further discussion. ] If you are hungry, feel free to help yourself to the food in my bag. Otherwise I think I will turn in for the night. Sleep well, Alisaie.
🎀 wrap
Inadvertently she looks up unable to hide the shock on her face. As quickly as he admits it however, he's quick to shut it down again.
Unfortunately she thinks she understands why. They do not know each other well enough to have a heart-to-heart, let alone that has undoubtedly left a mark on him in more ways than one. As tempted as she is to ask more, she shuts her mouth left with the feeling of uncertainty and discomfort.
There's a rustling of her own as she begins to wrestle with the wrapping of her ration in an effort to fill the awkwardness that suddenly fills the air. ]
Right of course. Sleep well.
[ And though she eventually does drift off to sleep, it isn't an easy one. Not with the remnants of the ghosts that haunt the pair of them long after their specters have gone. ]